Profile· Established@gabrielhaines On Ethos

Gabriel M Haines

91 reviews, 95% of them positive.95% positive · 91 reviews· Influence factor 183, above 36% of accounts

The record

From 41 activities · Apr 2026

Gabriel Haines is a prolific crypto content creator known for fast-paced, unfiltered video commentary on current events—often shirtless and wielding a machete—that blends satire, humor, and sharp insight into market chaos. His sarcastic, high-energy takes on crypto drama and news have earned him recognition as a rare original voice in the space, praised for responsiveness to community, willingness to try new onchain apps, and an ability to make complex moments entertaining without taking himself seriously. While his loud, chaotic style resonates deeply with many, some find his comedic approach less appealing as a basis for financial trust.

What people say

Received · 91 Given · 5

“Super funny and timely videos”If you feel depressed from crypto, you can have a look at Gabriel's tweets/videos and have a smile. He is always funny and harmless (if you know what I mean).

Silentmode · 1362· 1y ago17

“Gabriel is truly an amazing content creator.”I got to know him through the video where he talked about James Wynn—it really impressed me and cracked me up. His humor’s tough to beat, especially with that voice and those expressions.

vina · 1295· 1y ago13

“so good”this man is so good for the space he puts out positivity daily in video format he gave me a personal blessing what more do you want?

64s · 1292· 1y ago13

“Crazy MFer”This guy makes some of the funniest videos on CT in his car. Absolutely love his self confidence and content. I actually don’t know about his crypto alpha, but Ive never seen him in any scams or rugs so he checks out. Thanks for all the laughs brother!

alex.hl · 1320· 1y ago16

“the goat of shirtless machete videos”he is this og for shirtless machete waving videos, he never does miss and consistently makes me irl laugh out loud, rare to find accounts this funny on ct anymore

proofofjake · 1386· 1y ago16

“Great person”Good knowledge and humble nature such an og person

Lancaster.ETH · 1423· 1y ago16

“good person”Haines is one of the few CT content creators who produces original content. He follows current CT dramas and news closely and creates sketches from them. I love the humor he brings to the rather toxic crypto world.

sari · 1285· 1y ago12

“The comic character of CT”Gabriel is known for bringing humor to CT. He's always up on the latest crypto news and makes videos of himself reacting to the thousand and one things that happen to us. He brings a dose of humor to this crypto madness. I laugh a lot with his videos.

Tolkien · 1308· 1y ago12

“So funny , So real”I found Gabriel on X last year , Its Videos is so funny. Gabriel Haines’ X page is like tuning into late-night crypto radio, raw, loud, and full of conviction. He backs creator-focused projects like Creator DAO and Tunnel with real energy, but his sharp-edged takes can polarize. It’s not curated for comfort, it’s for those who like their crypto content with sparks flying.

Mike · 1277· 1y ago15

“fun content & nice”I don't know Gabe personally, but I have posted a video about something he made, founder-led marketing, rather than ignore it and not care, he went within i'm unsure how much time, not long, recorded his own video, to return serve. It was a cool discussion and I valued it a lot to be honest. Not enough real video creators in crypto, stoked he is doing it, makes it feel less lonely even from afar. With all of that said, from every interaction i've had, and seen, he's been a cool, genuine (and funny) guy. Being funny is incredibly hard, having to be always happy, doing silly stuff. Doesn't get enough credit, especially when you are making something like crypto funny, arguably an incredibly dry topic.

nev · 1430· 1y ago15

“Funny OG”Love his content, but don't feel comfortable taking advice. Crypto is a place where your voice can take many forms, but his (although, I do admit often times made me laugh) does not really appeal to me in a trustworthy way. Other than that, you must love his creativity and for sticking to his method. I guess we all have a choice to make and kudos to him for making his.

redHOT · 1298· 1y ago · neutral14

“Funny yet real”Gabriel humorously makes fun of crypto's current latest hot topics in his skits while being shirtless and (usually) brandishing a machete. A pseudo news account.

Slim · 1313· 1y ago14

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